CLASH! Author's Tournament
by Edgar
Summary: The great Author's Tournament has finally arrived.


A/N: Although this is my tournament, I owe a lot of it to Dr. Nick, who helped me create this and helped me pick the cream of the author crop from FF.Net. If you are not included, I am terribly sorry, and if you are included and I did not get your permission, I am extremely sorry. I sent out the invitations a couple of months ago and I could just not wait any longer. Please forgive me.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Nintendo... or do I? No, seriously I don't. C'mon. You believe me, right?  
  
"We're on in... Five, four, three, two, one!" said the cameraman, counting down with his fingers as he said each number. Mario and Sonic were seated at a large black desk, not unlike ESPN's "Sportscenter" desk. Mario was frantically cleaning off the tomato sauce on his mustache and Sonic was sitting there with crossed arms and was stomping one of his feet while looking at the camera.  
  
"Hello and-a welcome," said Mario, "to this year's annual Author's Tournament."  
  
"Yep," agreed Sonic. "We have forced- I mean invited 32 authors to participate in this spectacular tournament. We will see some intense match- ups between some of the best authors on FF.Net."  
  
"Absolutely," said Mario nervously. "Every author definitely approved being in this tournament... uh..."  
  
Suddenly, the TV screen showed a clip of Mario typing away at his computer at home. Mario was clearly at the website Fanfiction.net and he was randomly clicking on random pen names. "Hehehehe... these suckers don't know what they're getting into," the clip showed him saying. The clip continued, showing Mario looking behind him, pulling out a picture of Daisy, and kissing it. Then it showed Mario taking out of his pocket some of his constipation medicine and taking a large dosage of it. The next part of the clip showed Mario dancing ballet and-  
  
Suddenly, Mario ran up to the cameraman and punched him in the face. Mario then reset the video camera so that it would be filming him and Sonic.  
  
"Please excuse that FAKE clip. That NEVER happened. NEVER!" shouted Mario into the camera, getting more and more angry. "I DON'T KNOW HOW THEY MADE THAT STUPID CLIP, BUT IT NEVER HAPPENED!" Suddenly Mario realized that everyone was staring at him. "Sonic, say something."  
  
"Uh... well, we have divided all of the authors into 4 divisions, we have seeded the authors and we have hired some professional consultants including... Ganondorf, the fearful King of Theives."  
  
"That's fearLESS," Ganondorf corrected Sonic.  
  
"Oh yeah... we also have Bowser here, who knows everything about beating the crap out of people," Sonic continued, looking at his script like all news reporters do. "And we also have Pichu and Kirby, who are the greatest creatures alive and who should never be harmed by anyone. They are the coolest and I want to be like them. WHO WROTE THIS?" he asked, screaming.  
  
"Ooh! This just in!" said Mario, picking up a piece of paper that Kirby just handed to him. "I wear pink underwear and I'm gay. WAIT A SECOND! KIRBY, I SWEAR I WILL GET YOU FOR THIS! I WILL CUT YOU UP INTO TINY PIECES AND FEED THEM TO PIRANHA PLANT'S!" Mario noticed everyone was staring at him. "Sonic, say something."  
  
"Well... we have a very important meeting to attend to, right Mario?" asked Sonic. "Meeting? What meeting?" asked Mario, perplexed. At last, he noticed Sonic's blatantly obvious signals. "Oh, right, THAT meeting. Right. Ganondorf, Bowser, you guys take over." Sonic and Mario ran out of the room.  
  
"At last, we have control," said Ganondorf. "It must have been a very important meeting they had to go to..."  
  
-----At the "Meeting"-----  
  
"Got any threes?" asked Mario, glancing at the cards in his hand.  
  
"Go fish," responded Sonic, with an almost equal number of cards in his hand.  
  
-----Back at the Tournament broadcaster's booth---  
  
"Well, let's announce the information about the tournament," said Ganondorf. "This tournament is going to be set up much like the NCAA basketball tournaments which EVERYBODY watches. The next chapter of this fanfiction- I mean the first round of this tournament will be the matches of the first division: Division A." When Ganondorf said "Division A," there were many gasps. Ganondorf smiled and continued, "The first seed of this division is Dr. Nick and he'll be fighting the eighth seeded Ice Climbers Nano and Popa!" After both names, there was much cheering. "The fourth seeded BioHazard101 will be facing the fifth seeded Shay." Again, there was much cheering for both authors. "The third seeded Pichu (not the pokemon but the author) will be taking on the sixth seeded Jigglyman!" Cheering for both. "And the last match of tomorrow will be the second seeded wing fighting against the seventh seeded Pi2!" Cheering. "Stop shortening the 'cheering' part, damn it! Now, without further ado, I present the greatest tournament of all time: CLASH! Author Tournament."  
  
"Yeah, I can't wait!" said a young man with black hair, average height, average weight, and wearing a red shirt and black jeans.  
  
"Ah, Dr. Nick!" said a younger boy, who was thin and wore glasses.  
  
"How's the weather down there?" asked Dr. Nick, chuckling to himself. "If you were any shorter, you'd be growing backwards!"  
  
"Hey!" said the young man, whose pen name was wing.  
  
"Hey everyone!" two identical people said, popping out of nowhere. "It's Nano," said one, "and Popa," said the other.  
  
"Oh, great," exclaimed Dr. Nick sarcastically. "It's the ice retards whose fics-"  
  
"Dr. Nick, can you please stop?" asked Popa, while Nano shot an evil glare at Dr. Nick.  
  
"Fine," Dr. Nick said confidently. "You'll feel my wrath out in the tournament!"  
  
"We'll see about THAT," challenged Nano. "We've been waiting for this moment for a long time."  
  
"As have I," countered Dr. Nick. "As have I."  
  
"Okay, you guys, enough is enough," said a young man, wearing baggy blue jeans and a grey shirt. "Because it's obvious I will be winning MY match."  
  
"Don't count on it," said a young woman, wearing a black skirt that came down to her knees and a blue shirt. "The name's Shay, I'll be facing you in round one, Mr. Biohazard101."  
  
Meanwhile, a group of some other people was gathered in the corner of the room chatting about fanfiction and whatnot. Among them included Pi2, Pichu the author, and Jigglyman. Pichu the author and Jigglyman seemed to be in a heated argument over something. It seems that rivalries were already beginning to form among the authors that were fighting each other. Jigglyman and Pichu the author were arguing fiercely, Nano and Popa and Will were glaring at each other, Shay and BioHazard101 seemed to have a huge dislike of one another, and when wing accidentally tripped over Pi2's foot, the last rivalry was completed.  
  
"Let the games begin!" Ganondorf shouted amid great cheering as Dr. Nick and Nano and Popa stepped into their warp pipes to be transported to the place in which the first match would take place. 


End file.
